Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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