Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
