Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
