you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize