i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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