I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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