Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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