Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
