so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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