Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
