I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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