it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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