He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
