You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
