im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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