hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
