got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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