My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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