You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it glows. i had to have it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
