dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
