She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
