Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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