found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize