Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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