how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
