Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
