I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
