Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
