Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
