he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
