Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
