This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
