What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
