Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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