i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you win again, gameday.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
