hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
