Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
