i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
