cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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