Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
