I love black thongs
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
