I will die if light touches me.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
