just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
