well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
All the doctor said was why
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
