I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
