Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
