oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
