am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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