i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
