my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
