She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize