I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
