2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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