I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
