Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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