The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
MIDGETS
????
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
