He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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