sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
