I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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