So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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