WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
