Why are handjobs necessary in class?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
