Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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